I am not really qualified to post about Carson because I am hearing all of this second hand (through Ted), but this is how I have understood it so far:

Day 1: He was put in a classroom with a teacher that I felt could not manage him.  Sure enough, by 1:10 Ted received a call that WeeMan was in the principal's office.  (Ted won the bet.  We agreed he would likely see the principal the first day, but I thought before lunch and he thought after - Ted confirmed his lunch was eaten before the visit so he wins).  The issue was that he was refusing to put away his lunchbox.  For this, he ends up in a shouting match with the teacher which resulted in the visit.  Sorry, my two cents is that this situation should not have escalated beyond the classroom.  I only felt further reinforced that she was the wrong teacher and made me more relieved that Ted managed to get the right teacher for him tomorrow.

Day 2: WeeMan demands to go back to the previous day's class.  The new teacher tries to reason with him.  Ted explains that our little guy needs direct orders (Ted said, "he's not a sunshine and lollipops kind of kid").  So the new teacher orders him to go into the classroom and find his cubby for his things and sit down.  After a little more lip he complies.  The pick up report was not so hot.  Apparently Carson again refused to give up his lunch box, but this teacher told him he made a bad choice but could keep the lunch box...Buddy probably felt like he won the battle...right until recess when the teacher made him take his lunch box (since he wanted the lunchbox, it was too late to change his mind now) and hold her hand through out play time instead of playing.  He also refused to sit as his desk and he laid on the floor loudly bemoaning the "evil"ness of the teacher.  At pick up, the teacher made Carson tell Ted all of the bad things he did all day including not doing any work.

Day 3: Started off promising.  Ted said he went in and began drawing a picture of a lion that reasonably resembled a lion (I have NEVER known Carson to willingly use a crayon).  Ted picked him up at daycare instead of school so he did not get the blow-by-blow.  However, this is what he wrote to me this morning: 

He was in a GREAT mood when I picked him up at daycare and he assures me he sat in his desk and "colored my crayons and wrote my pencil".  He also said he "put my lunchbox in the bin" and that he was allowed to play at recess.  Yesterday's special was library where apparently he had to fight off some villains, so I suspect library wasn't too great ... I'm going to drop him off in the morning for a couple of more days to make sure I can get reports directly from his teacher as he settles in.

So things are looking up...

WAIT...this just in from Ted:
 

It was pointed out to me that I appear to be negative about Carson.  I want to be clear: I AM NOT NEGATIVE ABOUT MY SON!  

I am sad that he is not like most other kids, though.  I am sad that he has to struggle for so many things.  I hurt thinking that he might be already able to understand that he is different from other kids in a way that might make him sad or frustrated.

There is a huge difference between the normal sense of loss and concern that comes from having a child who struggles with a disability and "feeling negatively" toward a child.  In addition, the person seemed to be telling me I should focus on what Carson can do and not what he can't.  Well, duh...but that's what a journal is for - to work through your feelings.  

I worry that we have become a society of people who have labled so many feelings as wrong that we have moved beyond the fear of expressing them to an even deeper level, where people fear even having these supposedly wrong thoughts or feelings.  It has made us numb and dysfunctional as a society.  

Sorry, but I am not going to participate.  I will feel what I want, when I want, about whomever I want.  I will attempt to exercise good judgment as to how and where to express my feelings and opinions, but I am not going to attempt not to have the feelings at all.  That would be my definition of "crazy".

(To quote the great Jack Nicholson: "Go sell crazy somewhere else; we're all stocked up here")

Did you know that the CDC now says that 1 in every 94 boys born in the US will develop autism?

So out of curiosity I went to find LJ communities that discuss autism.  I found lots, but what I really found was that *I* am not ready.  Reading the posts depressed me to no end.  Even the posts that were uplifting are depressing because, well, it's hard to explain...

You probably know Carson is a great little guy. A talented photographer who can memorize almost anything - as long as he sees it on TV. He is so funny and quirky.



But he also has an autistic spectrum disorder. Exactly what he has and what this will look like when he's 10, 15, 25... no one knows. If you don't know Carson, I cannot really tell you what he is like. He is completely unique - I love that about him, but it makes diagnosis difficult. His OCD tendencies are pretty obvious:



It would seem cute or funny except that it has a tendency to isolate him from other children because they do not want to play with toys the way that he wants to play. It also gets me into a lot of arguments with other parents about our parenting choices. For example, he gets obsessed about sets - if something is a set, he wants all of the items in the set. So when I innocently bought him a Kinder egg in Rome and a toy from the movie "Cars" popped out, his obsessive search for the etire set began. My mother felt the best solution was to ignore his incessant requests for more eggs. Ted and I felt that for 1 or 2 Euro a day, Carson could be made happy - not buying the eggs would have made things miserable for everyone. People do not understand that these children have a disorder and ignoring that fact doesn't make it go away.



At the same time he can be very loving. Especially when it comes to Eden who has consistently been the one who understands him best. Sometimes Carson can be right there with you understanding everything and being engaging.


Sometimes he is in his own world, taking about Avatar, or Jimmy Neutron, and will not snap out of it. Sometimes he needs his solo time and won't engage with anyone.

Academically, he is struggling, but recently he seems to have decided that he wants to give school a try. He has been promised karate lessons (which he has been begging for) if he can learn to write his name on a line. I hear he is getting close.

For more information autism, take a look at Autism Speaks, or the Autism Society websites.