I just spent two hours typing in the last 4 weeks of my life.  It's all gone.  Lost to cyberspace.  I don't have the will to do it over again.  I'm sorry.  

Long story short, after much success, I have managed to injure myself and am being threatened with not graduating 2 weeks from now.  I am in pain and horribly depressed.  If I do not have a miraculous recovery such that I can pass my PT test on Monday and run 5 miles on Wednesday (at a 9 minute mile pace), I will be recycled (for you non-military types, that means I will be held over until the next class with space reaches the point where I am at now).

Clearly, this is not where I wanted to be at this point.  Normally, the hardest part of the PT Test and the run is getting out of bed that morning.  Now it will be a test of whether or not I can endure extreme pain.

For the record, it is my hip.  It is not fractured.  My guess is bursitis, but I cannot get it treated right now.  I have to pass these two events and then I can get more help.  I am really angry that my stellar track record counts for nothing right now.  I am trying hard not to give up yet.

First, my run this morning...the same conditions as Tuesday, but now light rain.  I made the 2 miles in 21:03 - that's passing (65 points or for the academics, a "D").  Whooo Hoooo...I mean Hooah!  Then we "jogged" back again, no stopping, so I did 4 miles without ever stopping or walking.  Sometimes people say, "a trainer?  Is that really necessary?"...um yes.  I only pay 100KM per month (about $72 - which is $4 more than I paid last month thanks to the falling dollar) for 3 sessions a week.

Second, there was a gas leak somewhere on my street last night.  You could smell gas everywhere, but I didn't blow up and it's gone now so the local municipality did it's job.  

Third, I have started on my novel but it is going really s-l-o-w-l-y.  As you can see I am distracting myself with other things.  For example, I needed a character name.  So I went to BabyNames.com.  I looked up popular boys names for 2006 and was mortified.  The number one name is Aiden (a character from "Sex and the City") but right behind it was Kaden - wow!  (followed unimaginitively by Brayden and Jayden; that's right the first 4 most popular names rhyme, so if you are a teacher, you have 5 years to quit before they all hit Kindergarten) and I have only known one Kaden my whole life and now it is the second most popular name.  Then I was even more upset.  Coming in at #60 - Carson!  Oh no!  I thought I had an original name.  Sorry buddy.

This morning I went running with my trainer.  I am really proud of myself because I finished the whole two miles.  That's the first time I have run that far.  I did it in 22:00.  That is not a particularly good time, but it is not totally horrible.  It would be 58 points.  That is good enough graduate from Basic Training, but not good enough to start Officer Candidate School (I need 60 points which would be 21:42).  My goal is to be able to do the run in 18:06 which is 85 points.

The best way to look at it is like a standard grading system.  85 points is like a solid "B".  If you know me, you know that I don't like to be anywhere below a "B" in anything.  I would like to be at that point before I start OCS.  I do not know how realistic it is for me to shave 4 minutes off my run by then.  I used to be a really fast runner, but never at a distance.

So now that I said what my results were, I would like to express other mitigating factors.  One factor is that it was not on a track, but rather a trail with rocks and tree roots, mud pits and wet leaves.  Another is that the course is not perfectly flat.  We ran at Vrelo Bosne which is a really beautiful park.  The third factor is that this is Sarajevo.  Sarajevo is 1708 feet above sea level.  Ft. Benning Georgia is only 310 feet above sea level.  And last, because of the terrain, I didn't have the best form because I couldn't run with my head up.  I would also like to complain for my Florida relatives that it was only 40 degrees Fahrenheit, a warm day in NY, I know, but quite cold for me.

After I ran the two miles I had to do two sets each of 15 push-ups, 15 bent-over rows, 15 bicep curls, and 15 dips, then we turned around and "jogged" back.  Jogging at my trainers pace honestly felt no different than running.  I should have timed myself.

I started a 5 day a week fitness regimen.  3 days a week I go to a personal trainer and 2 days I do circuit training with the NATO soldiers.  Today was week 4 day 2.  Results?  Well...none that are very visible.  I have not lost a single ounce of weight despite the fact that my appetite is now non-existent.  I think that is a reflex from training in sports where keeping your weight down is critical.  I also have very little endurance.  That is probably where I see the most improvement.  Today I was on the elliptical for 45 minutes.  When I started, the 10 minute warm-up used to make me feel faint.  Again, I have never been involved in an endurance sport so this is a big change for me.

Today is the first time when I was in so much pain I just wanted to give up.  Not from today's workout, but from yesterday's.  My friend Rose told me lunges with weights was a bad idea for me and I didn't listen (I don't like to do anything differently from the soldiers).  Holy smokes, no lie it's a bad idea.  Frankly, I don't know who it would be a good idea for... my left hip and hamstrings are screaming...still.

I really expected results at this point - stupid I know.  Someone said last week that with 5 to 6 solid workouts a week, I should see a significant difference in 4 to 6 months...not that I should be fit, but that I would see "significant difference".  I guess I have seen too many Billy Blanks infomercials.  

Well, month 1 is almost over.  I have often heard "fitness is a lifestyle".  I get it now.  It has nothing temporary about it.  It is relatively easy to improve in one area (e.g., lose weight, more sit-ups, faster run time, etc.), but to improve your overall fitness takes a long time and total commitment.