So today I decided to get a facial.  The photo seemed so relaxing...a little steam, some cucumbers over the eyes...great idea.  And it was, until the squeezing started.  She must have squeezed every pore on my face.  It was so painful that my eyes were not just tearing, they were burning.  The whole time the woman kept saying things like, "You are being too sensitive" and "This cannot hurt as badly as you are acting".  The whole time I kept thinking, "Wow I paid for her to do this to me".  It was such torture that I would have given her my ATM card and PIN code if she agreed to stop.

So to Ted and Ingrid who have been victimized in the past by my over-zealous pimple pursuit, I deeply apologize.